Facing Fear

On September 7, 1851 Henry David Thoreau wrote these words in his personal journal: “Nothing is so much to be feared as fear.” Eighty-two years later, on March 4, 1933 with the nation in the grips of the Great Depression, Franklin D. Roosevelt paraphrased Thoreau’s famous words in his first inaugural address saying, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”

It’s been almost six months now since the horrific auto accident that took the life of a 27 year old girl, and stopped ordinary life in its tracks for my husband and me. Nine broken bones and I can’t even count how many doctor’s visits later, I am finally almost back to normal – whatever that is! But the truth is some of the injuries I sustained may have chronic effects for the rest of my life. I pray that fear is not one of them.

Fear is a far worse enemy than any of the things that terrify us. I was made painfully aware of that just a few weeks ago when my husband and I were invited to attend a birthday dinner for a good friend; the same friend we had visited the night of our accident. They live about an hour away from us; a beautiful drive over winding country roads and across hills, lakes and bridges… the same roads we were driving the night of our crash.

Interestingly, the rural beauty of North Georgia is part of what drew Paul and me to the Atlanta area. But the thought of driving our “beautiful country roads” no longer brings a smile to my face as it once did. Instead it causes a fear that threatens to hold me captive in my own home – the only place that is “safe.” With our friend’s invitation however, I thought “I refuse to be crippled by fear!” I decided to go in spite of my overwhelming desire to say, “Thanks, but I can’t.”

Paul was out of town so I drove to the party alone that evening, leaving while it was still light outside. Although even daytime driving is a bit unnerving for me these days, at least during the day when cars are speeding toward me at 55-60 mph on a curvy road, they are clearly visible and I can see the road… just in case. I found the party easily thanks to a wonderful invention called the GPS.

By the time the birthday celebration was over though, just as I had anticipated, it was dark. I got in my car, turned on the GPS and prayed, “Lord, please help me find my way out of this unfamiliar area quickly and get me to some familiar roads and home safely!” No sooner did I pray that prayer than my GPS announced “GPS Signal Lost.” I had written directions with me in the car (just in case…) but at night I could not see well enough to read them or the road signs. I headed back in what I thought was the right direction and, thank God, the GPS came on after a few blocks. Prayer answered. First hurdle cleared.

Now I was on the main road headed back home, but it was so dark – and the roads curve – and the oncoming lights blind me – and I can’t see the road signs and… and… and… I prayed all the way home. The moment I walked in the door I said, “Thank You God! Finally I’m safe!” And for the first time in my life, I actually understood the feelings of those who suffer from severe agoraphobia – an anxiety disorder that often makes people unable to leave their home. I closed the door and thought, “I don’t ever want to leave this house again!” After going through the trauma of a car wreck, I’ll admit that all too often I find myself thinking, “Let’s not go out. It’s dangerous out there! It’s not worth the risk.” Fear is imprisoning me.

Fear is debilitating. It can take a free woman and put her in chains. It can turn a vibrant life into a shadow of death. It can make a strong person become weak and powerless. Fear can make us choose the “safe” path instead of the life of adventure and purpose that God has planned for us. But fear does so much more.

Fear is destructive. It crushes our confidence. It breaks our trust. And worst of all, it damages our relationships because without trust, a relationship cannot flourish. The Bible says that fear does not come from God. “For God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” (2Timothy 1:7 AKJV)  Our God values relationship. By His very nature – three Persons in one – God Himself represents relationship. By destroying our trust in God, fear breaks down our relationship with Him, a relationship that God’s own Son gave His life to restore. Trust and fear cannot coexist. If you have one, you won’t have the other.

Fear is also all-consuming. It becomes a monster that takes over our minds, our emotions and even our physical bodies, leaving no room for rational thought or trusting faith. When we are consumed by fear, the object of our anxiety becomes our god. When I am in the car and pray over and over and over again, “God keep us safe. God keep us safe…” I am not demonstrating my faith. Instead I am showing my lack of faith and trust that the God who was with me in my last time of need, will be with me and keep me through the next.

So, what do we do when fear has a stranglehold on us? As you can see, I am surely no expert at overcoming fear yet. But God is teaching me through this difficult time, and by His grace He will use my fears to grow me and hopefully help someone else along the way. There are three things I’ve discovered that can help us overcome fear. We need to expose fear, face it head-on, and give it away.

Expose Fear.
Fear is insidious. It hides in the shadows and destroys while we try to pretend it’s not there. The first step in overcoming fear is to admit it. Name it. Talk about it with friends. Tell someone what you are dealing with, and even do some research on the topic to see how others have handled it. It is impossible to conquer an enemy that we have not named – so go ahead, expose the fear that is binding you.

Face Fear Head-on.
Once you have admitted and named the thing you fear, the next step is to face it head-on. That means actually doing or exposing yourself to the very thing you are afraid of. That’s what I did the night I chose to say yes to our friend’s party invitation, even though I was terrified to drive home in the dark. I was petrified but I did it, and next time it won’t be quite as hard. But you don’t have to face your fear all at once; take it slowly. After our accident, when I was well enough, I first drove very short distances in the daylight. Baby steps. Face your fear and show it and yourself that with God, you can overcome it!

Give Fear away.
For me, as a Christ follower, one of the most amazing gifts I have received from my loving Savior is the ability to lay my burdens down at His feet. The trouble is, we lay them down and then keep picking them up again. Give your fear to God and leave it with Him. Ask Him to help you overcome it. Ask him to take the fear and turn it into something positive. Pray something like this: “Lord, this fear is consuming me! It takes so much of my energy. Please take it Lord and transform it. Redeem this debilitating fear and make it into something that can glorify You.”

What do you fear? Are you like me, trying to play it safe? God wants so much more for us! He wants to give us a life of adventure and excitement, as He uses us to fulfill His plans in this world. Will we let Him use us, or will we let fear stop us in our tracks? Take a step toward freedom today. Expose your fear. Face it, and give it to God. Ask God to show you how you can trust Him even with the things that give you the most fear. Then watch what He will do!

We’d love to hear from you! Click on “Comments” at the top right of this page and share your story of fear and freedom! Tell us how God is getting you past the things that you fear most.

Many Blessings and Happy Mother’s Day to you all!

Mary Sorrentino