I never thought of myself as an impatient person. But lately, with all the renovations STILL going on in our new home, my husband has told me on more than one occasion that I am in fact, very impatient. “NO!” I tell him, “I’m not impatient. I just want all this mess gone!”
Let’s see, what is the definition of impatient again??? “…restless or short of temper especially under irritation, delay, or opposition; eagerly desirous: anxious” Hmm… sounds an awful lot like me these days!
But recently, in the midst of one of my most impatient and anxious days, God gave me a gentle reminder. And as I wrote in my prayer journal, I began to realize this conversation sounded all too familiar. I’ve had this “chat” with God far too many times over the years. Our discussion went something like this:
“God, now that we’ve finished the Joy in the Battle book, I know you have asked me to teach it whenever and wherever you give me the opportunity. And right now that opportunity is the Trinidad Women’s Retreat in July.
But God, where is our team? Why have you not sent us a leader? You know I can’t write four messages and lead the team as well. You know we need lots of time to plan and raise the funds for the trip. You know we have to buy the supplies, print the materials, write the messages, buy the airline tickets, and on and on and on… (As if God needed me to tell Him all this!) So, why have you not raised up our team? I’m waiting God! And you know how I HATE TO WAIT!!!”
And here is what my loving Father replied:
My Sweet Mary, you are fretting and worrying again! Haven’t I told you? Only one thing is needed. Come. Sit at my feet and rest with me. Learn from me. Trust me. Let me be in charge. All I have asked is that you say “Yes” whenever I ask you to teach Joy in the Battle. And oh Sweetie, I am so pleased that you said yes this time!
But right now I am asking you to do the two things I know are hardest for you – wait and trust. Be still and let me work. Watch me do what only I can do! And you… start doing what only you can do – what I have called you to do – write the talks for Joy in the Battle. Make them messages you can take wherever I send you. And yes, I will send you! Wait on the Lord. Be still and wait on the Lord. Trust me Mary. I will do this.” ~Abba God~
So once again God was asking me to wait, to trust Him, to be patient, to give Him control, and to be still. And oh how I hate to be still! How I hate to wait!
I want the project plan finished – with every step, every line, every task spelled out, assigned to the right person, and checked off as complete – on time and on budget! (YIKES! That so brings me back to my days in Information Technology!)
The bottom line is, I like to be in control. And yet that is exactly what this loving God of ours, who wants to give us “exceedingly, abundantly above all that we ask or think” (Ephesians 3:20 KJV) often asks us to give up. He says, let Me be in charge. And when we do, He shows us just how “abundantly” He provides.
And yes… God has provided once again. He is bringing together the team of women that He wants to serve on this Trinidad mission trip. We now have a wonderful team leader and God is fully in control!
And so I am officially confessing that my husband was right. (Yes… you heard it here first!) I am impatient. Not only am I terribly uncomfortable with the “mess” of renovations – whether they are in my house or in my heart – but the simple truth is I don’t like not being in control. Does that sound like any of you?
Yet God says, “Let me be in charge! I’ve got a better plan, a better way, a better outcome than you could ever plan, or hope, or dream up yourself!” Oh how I need to believe Him. Life would be so much less stressful – and actually, a much more exciting adventure – if I would just let go and trust Him!
I need to take God at His word! After all, I have experienced His faithfulness in the past. I can tell you story after story from my own life when God showed up and provided exactly what I needed – exactly when I needed it. That’s why God’s Word tells us over and over again to “Remember!” If we’d just stop and recall His faithfulness of the past, maybe it would not be quite so hard to wait and trust Him with the future.
The lesson for me – and all of us control loving, impatient types – is this: “Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.” (Psalm 27:14) Our job is to do the next right thing – to listen and obey one step, one day at a time.
Is God asking you to wait and trust Him? Is He asking you to take your hands off of something, or someone, and let Him take charge? Your story may be exactly what someone else needs to hear today! You can share it with us here by clicking on the Comments link at the top of the page.
Many Blessings to you all!
Mary
